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By Christine Murray
The journey of healing and recovering from past abuse unfolds differently for each survivor. It's a path that requires patience and perseverance because, for many of us as survivors, there are no quick fixes or shortcuts to healing. In our busy lives, finding dedicated time for healing can seem daunting. Yet, as we highlight in the Source for Survivors Pathway for Supporting Survivors Model, committing to a long-term perspective is beneficial. Over time, deliberate steps we take toward healing, no matter how big or small, lay the foundation for progress and shifts along our healing journey. Today's blog explores practical steps—what I refer to as "healing accelerators"—that can gently help us move forward in our healing journey. Acceleration, in this context, isn't just about speeding up time. Instead, I’m referring to intentional investments of our space and energy into our healing process. These strategies are designed to support us in moving forward and nurturing our progress with care and purpose. Setting Aside Dedicated Time. Finding time for healing amidst life's demands can be challenging. However, even small doses of intentionally-spent time, like a few minutes daily or an hour weekly, can significantly impact your healing journey. Consider scheduling a weekend retreat or time to join a monthly support group as potential ways to prioritize your healing. Seeking Specialized Counseling. Working with a therapist trained in trauma and abuse recovery can be extremely helpful. Look for mental health professionals who are experienced and well-trained in these areas so you can seek out specialized support tailored to your needs. If you find a potential counselor who seems like they may be a good fit, feel free to ask about their training and experience in these topics to help you decide if they will understand your experiences. Connecting with Peer Support. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can be invaluable. Peer support groups, whether online or in person, can offer understanding and solidarity, as well as you that you are not alone in your journey. Building Coping Skills. Equipping yourself with a variety of coping strategies is useful for navigating the emotional intensity of healing. From communication tools to relaxation techniques, developing these skills supports not only your healing journey, but they also can enhance your overall resilience in life. Mindful Emotional Processing. Deeply engaging with our emotions is important for healing. Of course, it’s important to promote your emotional safety while exploring complicated, often distressing emotions. Acknowledging triggers and seeking appropriate support (e.g., from a trained counselor or a crisis hotline) when needed supports our emotional resilience and guides us toward meaningful progress in our healing journey. Establishing Healthy Boundaries. Setting boundaries can help us to protect our well-being. Survivors may need to set boundaries with their former abusers if they still need to have contact with them (e.g., when they share children), as well as boundaries in the context of stressful or toxic other relationships, such as with friends, family members, or coworkers. Learning to communicate and enforce healthy boundaries is important for maintaining a “buffer zone” around us that supports our healing process. Educating Yourself. Understanding the dynamics of abuse and the healing process can empower you with insights into your own experiences. Learning new information often provides clarity and different perspectives, aiding in the journey toward healing and self-understanding. Reflective Practices. Regular journaling and self-reflection can deepen your understanding of yourself and your healing progress. Taking time to check in with your emotions and experiences can help us to gain self-awareness and personal growth. Conclusion There is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing, and these accelerators may not be helpful for everyone. Healing accelerators can serve as intentional practices that can support and enrich the abuse recovery journey. I invite readers to share other ideas for healing accelerators in the comments below. Thank you for being part of our community as we aim to offer support and guidance for survivors along the healing journey.
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By Christine Murray
Emotions during the healing process from an abusive relationship can be overwhelmingly intense. I know this from my healing journey as a survivor, as well as through my work in the mental health and domestic violence fields. As a mental health professional, I'm an advocate for seeking professional support, such as counseling and crisis hotlines, as a helpful strategy for support with navigating intense emotions. Having professional support to consider how to personalize and apply general tools (like self-soothing, which I’ll cover in today’s post) to your unique circumstances also can be incredibly beneficial. While seeking support from professionals and compassionate loved ones is helpful, developing the capacity to self-soothe during the healing journey is very valuable as well. Intense emotional reactions are natural responses to the trauma of abusive relationships, so it’s understandable why powerful (and at times, distressing) emotions can be part of the healing process. Self-soothing can be a key tool in managing our intense emotions, as it helps to create more inner peace, clarity in our decisions, and progress toward healing. Self-soothing, in essence, refers to strategies, tools, and skills used during moments of intense, often uncomfortable emotions that lead to mental, emotional, or physical distress. Let's explore some practical ways to incorporate self-soothing into our healing toolkits as survivors of abusive relationships:
Integrating self-soothing into the healing journey can empower survivors with valuable tools to navigate intense emotions effectively. Remember, it takes a healthy balance of self-reliance and seeking support from others that can lead to our overall healing. In the comments below, I invite you to share your insights on self-soothing and other supportive concepts that survivors can use along their healing journeys. Your contributions enrich our Source for Survivors community and offer valuable support to fellow survivors. Healing from abusive relationships is a complex and emotional process. The Source for Survivors remains committed to providing valuable support and addressing topics that matter to our community. We welcome your suggestions for future blog topics as we continue this journey together. By Christine Murray
As I’ve discussed in past Source for Survivors blog posts, abusers use a range of tactics to gain and maintain power and control over their partners. This often includes emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse and manipulation, including gaslighting. In abusive relationships gaslighting happens when abusers try to confuse their partners and make them believe their perceptions aren’t real. I often think of this dynamic as abusers trying to write the inner narrative of their partners by trying to manipulate them into thinking how the abuser wants them to think. Typically, the abusers try to write narratives that serve their purposes and further embed their control and power into the relationship. The manipulative narratives of current or former abusive partners can become all-consuming in survivors’ thoughts and emotions. Survivors may find themselves ruminating over what was said or done in those relationships, even long after they’ve left the presence of the other person. Survivors might even start taking on thoughts, ideas, and belief systems about themselves that are false and harmful, but that the abuser planted as a way to manipulate them or convince survivors that they were wrong or to blame. Some survivors find that their abusive relationships have hijacked their inner narratives, meaning that what the abuser has said has become an overriding force in the ways they think and feel about themselves. This is an emotionally vulnerable position for survivors to be in because we risk allowing another person--and specifically, a person who has shown us that they don’t have our best interests at heart--to define us, rather than defining and refining our own identities. Be cautious about how much space you let your current or former abuser’s hurtful words and behaviors take up in your thought life. Of course, it is important to take time to reflect on your experiences in an abusive relationship, as well as to process your emotions related to those experiences. You might consider using a journal, such as our Pathway for Survivors Mini-Journal (which you can download for free here), as a tool for this reflection. Overall, it is important to be mindful about not allowing an abusive relationship to prevent you from seeing other positive experiences in life, such as your personal strengths, healthy relationships with others, and your personal and professional successes and accomplishments. An abusive relationship can be quite hurtful and stressful. However, it does not need to be the dominant force in your life. As you move along your healing journey, strive to reclaim your inner narrative from any lingering effects of your abuser’s harmful words and actions. Remember that you can write the story--including your inner truths--of your own life. By Christine Murray
People who perpetrate abuse in intimate relationships often use a variety of tactics to gain and maintain power and control over their partners. Some of these are blatant and severe - such as using physical violence, sexual assault, or blatantly abusive and harmful words to diminish their partners. Whether or not these blatant forms of abuse are present, there is often an underlying pattern of subtle tricks or tactics that abusers often use to create the context for their abuse. In today’s post, we’ll explore some of these tactics, which often overlap with behaviors that could be considered emotionally, verbally, and/or psychologically abusive. Keep in mind that every person’s experiences are unique, and the abuse tactics that are present in abusive relationships can vary widely. The behaviors that are listed below are only a starting point for recognizing patterns of abuse that may have impacted you if you’re a survivor, or someone you’re supporting, such as if you’ve got a friend or family member who has experienced an abusive relationship. Let’s take a look at some of these patterns: Manipulation: Abusers often manipulate through kindness, using compliments or gifts as tools for manipulation. Generating Conflict: Abusers thrive on conflict, stirring up fights or escalating minor issues into major battles. Avoiding Responsibility: Abusers typically refuse to take responsibility for their actions, blaming others or denying the harm they cause. Passive-Aggression: They may express aggression indirectly, using tones or behaviors to convey hostility. Invalidating Feelings: Abusers often disregard others' emotions, dismissing them as invalid or "too sensitive." Cruel Criticism: They resort to hurtful criticisms or put-downs, targeting sensitive areas to inflict maximum pain. Gaslighting and Undermining Your Reality: Abusers distort reality, denying events or emotions to undermine their victim's perception. Boundary Violations: They disregard boundaries, crossing emotional, behavioral, or physical lines repeatedly. Draining Your Energy: Interactions with abusers leave victims feeling emotionally and physically drained. Withholding Positivity: Abusers withhold positive attention, neglecting emotional needs and creating a void in the relationship. Interfering in Relationships: They may interfere in their partners’ relationships, isolating them and/or damaging their connections. Recognizing these patterns is important for understanding the dynamics of abusive relationships. While all relationships face challenges, abuse goes beyond typical conflicts. Abusers typically resist change, refuse accountability, and create overwhelmingly confusing and negative environments. If you recognize the patterns above - or others that have a similar vibe or feel even if they're note listed - consider seeking additional support to evaluate your experiences and consider how to promote your own safety or the safety of a survivor you're supporting. By Christine Murray
A common misconception about abusive relationships is that the abuse ends when the relationship does. Unfortunately, for many survivors, especially those who share children with their former abusers, the journey to healing and safety continues long after the relationship ends. Ongoing abuse, often termed post-separation abuse, can be deeply challenging and requires specific strategies and support, especially for survivors who share children with their abusers. Understanding the Challenges Parenting children who are shared with an abuser is a complex and often tumultuous path. If you find yourself in this situation, know that your frustrations and struggles are valid and shared by many survivors. For supporters (such as friends, family members, and professionals), educating yourself on these dynamics is crucial to offering effective support while understanding the unique challenges that impact survivors and their children’s safety and well-being. The experiences of survivors who share children with their abusers vary widely, influenced by factors such as the number and ages of the children, how ongoing contact is required, court involvement, social support, and more. However, there are many common challenges that survivors might face, highlighting the ongoing impact of abuse even after the relationship ends. One significant challenge for many survivors is the use of court systems by abusers, especially regarding child custody. Abusers may file frivolous or repeated custody cases, prolonging legal processes, draining resources, and using these avenues to diminish the survivor’s parental role and perpetuate abuse. Survivors navigating this legal minefield often find it traumatic and exhausting, emphasizing the need for robust support systems and ongoing self-care strategies. Beyond legal battles, survivors parenting with their abusers may face other challenges that include ongoing safety threats, both physical and emotional. Abusers also may use children as pawns to carry out further abuse, making threats or using communications and custody exchanges to harass or intimidate. Parental alienation, where abusers attempt to turn children against the survivor, is another abuse tactic that can harm both the survivor-child relationship and the child’s well-being. Strategies for Safety and Well-Being In light of all of these potential challenges, survivors and their supporters can take proactive steps to promote safety and well-being in the context of parenting when children are shared with an abuser.
Moving Forward with Resilience Parenting alongside an abusive former partner is undeniably challenging, but it’s possible to navigate this journey with resilience and intentionality. By accessing support, educating yourself, prioritizing your and your children’s safety, using strategic communication strategies, practicing self-care, and celebrating positive moments, you can promote your well-being and that of your children. While the road ahead may be long, remember that you are not alone. Seek help when needed, connect with supportive communities, and take proactive steps to create a safe and nurturing environment for yourself and your children. And finally, we know that the topic of parenting when survivors share children with their abusers is a huge one. Fully exploring this topic goes far beyond a single blog post. If you have a specific question or topic related to this subject that you’d like us to consider for a future Source for Survivors blog post, remember that we welcome suggestions through our “What’s On Your Mind?” series. You can learn more and submit a question anonymously using the following Google form: https://forms.gle/5iLvZP8KP2o4wcf78. Please keep in mind that we will not be able to provide individual responses to questions submitted here. For the questions we do cover, the guidance offered will be general in nature and designed to address anyone who may be facing a similar question or concern. By Christine Murray
The journey of healing from a past abusive relationship can be complicated, long, and winding. I’ve often wished there was a simple 5-step checklist that could lead to healing: First you do this, then that, and eventually, you’re healed! If only the healing journey were that straightforward. In reality, each survivor's healing journey is unique. It's common to experience moments of significant progress, times of slow but steady improvement, and even setbacks. While the giant leaps forward in our healing journey may be the most exciting and easiest to celebrate, all parts of our healing journeys are meaningful and opportunities for growth. Embracing the Journey Every step along the way is an opportunity for growth, even the challenging ones. Sometimes we grow in ways we wish we didn't have to, especially when we’re responding to challenges. It would be nice to wave a magic wand and quickly pass through some of these difficulties, but in hindsight, some of the most difficult moments are also the greatest opportunities for self-awareness, learning valuable life lessons, and discovering inner strength we never knew we had. Although we may wish we weren’t on this journey because it means we experienced abuse, there's something meaningful about being on a journey filled with moments for healing and gaining insight - even if we didn’t choose it. Unique and Personal Journeys One unique aspect of healing from abuse is that each journey is completely personal. My journey is different from yours, and your journey is unique from any other survivor's. While this uniqueness might seem frustrating because it can be harder to learn from each other’s experiences, it also allows us to make the healing process our own. This individuality is valuable because it allows us to get to know ourselves better and understand our unique experiences while navigating this journey. After an abusive relationship, it’s common to lose touch with ourselves, as abusers often chip away at our self-worth and self-esteem. As I’ve discussed here in the blog before, it’s not uncommon to have to get to know ourselves again along the healing journey. Our unique perspectives and experiences provide opportunities to connect with ourselves and gain insight. For example, each of us will find meaning and healing in different sources. Some people love meditation, while others find it challenging to embrace the stillness it brings. Some find comfort in religious or spiritual beliefs, while others don’t. Our relationships, the support we receive, and the healing pathways we take will differ for each person. This complexity, while at times challenging, allows us to observe our experiences and what resonates with us, offering opportunities for deeper self-connection and insight. Giving Ourselves Time to Heal Embracing the winding road of the healing journey allows us to give ourselves the time we need to heal, at our own unique pace. Abusive relationships are often intense and long-lasting. For most survivors, it’s unrealistic to expect a quick and easy recovery from such profound experiences. Embracing the winding road means giving ourselves permission to move at our own pace, without a set timeline or rigid steps to follow. This approach helps us to deeply and meaningfully recover and grow stronger than before. Throughout the healing journey, we may experience giant leaps forward that are exciting. At other times, progress may come in tiny baby steps that feel frustratingly slow. Sometimes, we may even face setbacks, taking two steps forward and three steps back. These are all natural parts of the long, complicated, but ultimately triumphant process toward growth and renewal. Moving Forward Wherever you are on your healing journey, and whatever your journey has looked like so far, I invite you to embrace the ups and downs, the twists and turns, the forward steps, and the setbacks. Trust that even in the most uncertain moments, we are still moving forward toward healing and hope for a brighter future. By Christine Murray “The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.” —Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe While there can be beauty in moments of solitude, loneliness and isolation are often a different story, especially for people who deeply crave positive, healthy sources of connection with others. Feeling deeply isolated is a common experience for survivors of abusive relationships, both during and after the relationship ends. You might find yourself looking around and realizing that many of your past relationships have fallen away, leaving you feeling very alone. This sense of isolation is normal and understandable, stemming from the dynamics of abuse that often include isolation as a tactic. Isolation as an Abuse Tactic Abusers frequently use isolation as a means of gaining power and control over their partners. By cutting off their partners from friends, family, and support networks, abusers create an environment where their harmful behaviors can go unchecked. Signs that isolation may have been used against you include being kept from seeing your friends or family, having your relationships disparaged, or being physically moved away from sources of support, such as your partner making you move with them to another town that’s far away from your friends and family members. The Consequences of Isolation Isolation not only serves as an abusive tactic, but it can also become a significant consequence of abuse over time. Survivors may find themselves distanced from friends and family members due to the dynamics of the abusive relationship or their own withdrawal over time. Also, controlling partners may limit survivors' opportunities to build new relationships or maintain existing ones. Steps to Reduce Isolation and Foster Support
Taking Time and Keeping Perspective Building meaningful relationships takes time, especially for survivors who may have experienced broken trust or trauma. Take the time you need to get to know people gradually and figure out which connections are safe and supportive for you. Conclusion Rebuilding your social network after abuse can be overwhelming, but remember that you deserve healthy, positive relationships in your life. While it may take time and effort, nurturing these connections can offer healing and support along your journey.   By Christine Murray
The experience of being emotionally triggered is common for many survivors along the journey of recovering from past abuse. A few months ago, I wrote a blog post about “Taking Care of Yourself When You Are Triggered.” Many different types of situations and circumstances can lead to feeling emotionally or physiologically triggered. Sometimes, these are directly connected to past experiences of abuse, such as seeing or interacting with your former abuser or having a memory of something that happened in the context of that relationship. At other times, triggers can arise in more indirectly related situations, such as if you experience a similar dynamic with another person (e.g., a toxic workplace culture) or something that reminds you of feelings that you faced in connection with your experiences of abuse. In my personal experiences, one unexpected area of my life in which I’ve experienced triggering events has been in my parenting. When I first started experiencing this, I was surprised and had a hard time admitting that experiences with my children could trigger emotional reactions that were reminiscent of my past traumatic experiences. How could my sweet children be having this impact on me? It turns out that I’m not alone. As I first wrote about this topic several years ago in a blog post for Triad Moms on Main, “Parenting is one of the areas in which traumatic effects can surface, but parents with a history of trauma may struggle to understand how they can navigate their past trauma amid the demands of their current parenting.” Even for parents (and other caregivers) without any trauma history, parenting is no easy feat! As many people have said before, parenting is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. It’s natural for all parents--whether or not they’ve ever experienced a traumatic event--to feel stressed and overwhelmed at times. For survivors of past abusive relationships, the intense emotions that can arise along the healing journey can add to the complexities of parenting. This is especially true when power struggles arise in parenting situations. Abusive relationships have an underlying dynamic of power and control issues, as abusers use a variety of abusive tactics to gain and maintain power over their targeted victims. Because of this, the abuse recovery process for survivors often involves gaining a greater sense of self-empowerment and freedom that they weren’t able to experience in their abusive relationship. From a developmental perspective, power struggles between children and their parents are a common and natural part of children growing up to become independent adults. Power struggles can look different at different ages. A toddler might throw a tantrum when they don’t want to do what their parent is asking them to do, whereas a teenager may tune into their phone or withdraw to their room to create space from their parent. Even when parents understand their children’s developmental motives behind the parenting power struggles that might arise, they can feel confused and overwhelmed when these struggles arise. This is true for all parents, but for parents with a history of the control dynamics involved in abusive relationships, emotional reactions can be intensified and become a triggering event. If you find parenting power struggles to be triggers for you, here are a few steps that I’ve found helpful to navigate these situations with as much ease and confidence as possible:
While parenting can be a rewarding and meaningful part of life, this doesn’t mean it is without its challenges. One of those challenges for survivors who are parenting is the potential for emotionally triggering events during power struggles with our children. While parenting-related triggers may not be avoidable, we can be intentional about (1) recognizing them, (2) responding to them in healthy ways, and (3) learning from them. In this way, we can continue to grow to become more present with our children, as well as to move further along in our healing journeys.  By Christine Murray
If you’re healing from the immediate or long-term effects of an abusive relationship, it’s natural to feel like you’re riding an emotional roller coaster at times. As I’ve discussed before throughout this blog, it’s so important to practice self-care and process our emotions while we are on the journey of healing from past abuse. Many survivors, such as those who share children with their former abuser, may need to stay in contact with their abusers even long after the relationship ends. Even if you’ve been able to cut off all contact with your former abuser, chances are you still will encounter difficult or toxic people and relationships. A helpful skill to learn when dealing with difficult, and even potentially unsafe, people is to practice taking a pause before responding to any intense emotions you may feel. Of course, if you’re facing an immediate safety risk, contact your local emergency authorities or a crisis hotline. (Visit our Other Resources page for more information about resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline and the 9-8-8 Lifeline for Mental Health Crises.) Taking a pause in emotionally charged situations can give you a short break to calm your mind and emotions so you can think more clearly about your best next steps. Sometimes, we can take longer pauses, such as if we can take an hour or so to cool down, or even a longer amount of time to seek out guidance from a trusted professional or loved one. However, often intense situations require quick responses, and we may not be able to take an extended break to fully process our thoughts and feelings. In these moments, even a brief pause can be helpful. Below are a few suggestions to begin practicing taking quick pauses when you’re facing intense emotions and situations. First, try to practice taking a “pause” even before you are faced with a situation in which you’ll need to use it, such as an interaction with your former abuser or another difficult person. This might involve simply thinking or writing some ideas ahead of time for what kind of pause strategies might work best for you. If you feel emotionally safe to do so, you might even try to imagine yourself in an intense situation, and then visualize yourself taking a calming pause to regroup in that imaginary situation. (If this kind of visualization is triggering to you right now, it’s okay to wait until you’re ready to use this technique.) One helpful strategy that some people find useful for taking a pause is to take a brief, but deep breath or two to help calm you in the moment. As you are taking your deep breaths, check in with yourself using the following questions: How am I feeling right now? What is happening in my body? What is my gut reaction for how to respond? Would this response be helpful or unhelpful in this situation? You may not have time to fully explore all of these questions, so pick the one(s) that are most helpful to you at the moment. Another possible pause-taking tool is to physically ground yourself in your body at the present moment. For example, you might tune into all five senses (e.g., “What am I seeing, smelling, and tasting right now?”), notice your feet planted on the ground, or use a comforting self-touch, such as gently massaging your shoulders. Keep in mind that brief pauses often can’t give you enough time to fully process your thoughts, emotions, and reactions in a stressful situation. However, they can be helpful to stay calmer and make more thoughtful decisions about your responses during a challenging relationship situation. Later, when you have time and feel safe to do so, you can further explore what was happening in your mind, body, and emotions in the intense situation, as well as reflect on how well the steps you took to pause in the moment worked for you. You may find it helpful to connect with a trained mental health professional to process these intense experiences. Remember that it’s a brave step to take to reach out for help when needed, and everyone needs a little help sometimes. Taking a pause can be a valuable coping tool for survivors of abuse, as well as for anyone else who feels uncomfortable responding to intense emotions in the heat of the moment. This tool can be most helpful when we practice it before we actually need it so we’re ready to put it in play when intense, stressful situations arise.  By Christine Murray It’s a common experience among survivors of abusive relationships to feel like they've lost touch with who they are. I've met many survivors who, upon breaking free from their abusive relationships, felt extremely disconnected from themselves. I can personally relate to this experience. While I was in my past abusive relationship, I felt like I completely lost sight of who I truly was. Abusive partners are often very controlling, including over their partners’ decisions. This control--added to the lingering effects of emotional and other forms of abuse--can lead to a loss of self-expression and self-awareness. This leaves survivors feeling like they no longer have a clear sense of their preferences and interests. Reconnecting with oneself is a common part of the healing journey for many survivors. Whether this process begins during the relationship or after it ends, it involves rediscovering our identity and rebuilding a positive relationship with ourselves. However, the process of reconnecting with ourselves can be challenging and may take time. If you've been feeling disconnected from yourself, it's okay to take things one step at a time. Set aside moments for quiet reflection, even if it's just a few minutes each day or an hour a week. Use this time to explore your thoughts, feelings, likes, and dislikes. Journaling or talking with a trusted friend or counselor can also be helpful in this process. Keep an open mind toward your reactions and preferences. Notice whether the things you like and do are a reflection of your genuine desires or if they were imposed upon you by your abuser. Sometimes, getting to know ourselves again involves unlearning some habits and patterns. Consider revisiting past interests or activities that once brought you joy, but that you’ve lost touch with. Reconnecting with your past interests can be a helpful way to rediscover aspects of yourself and reclaim your sense of identity and purpose. Also, embrace opportunities to try new things and explore different experiences. Experiment with trying new activities, foods, hobbies, adventures, and interests. You might discover aspects of yourself that you hadn't explored before, and perhaps you’ll even stumble into some new passions. During the self-reconnection process, be gentle with yourself. It's normal for difficult emotions or memories to come up as you reconnect with your true self. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that healing is a journey that you can take at your own pace. Ultimately, getting to know yourself again after an abusive relationship is a journey of self-discovery and growth. Embrace this opportunity to reconnect with your true self, explore new possibilities, and gain a deeper sense of self-awareness and empowerment along your healing pathway.  |
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