Riding Emotional Roller Coasters: Strategies for Emotional Regulation

By Christine Murray

Life is a wild ride filled with all sorts of emotions, and when you're on the path to healing from past abuse, it can feel like stepping into an emotional roller coaster. The ups and downs are real, and sometimes it feels like you're navigating through uncharted emotional territory

Emotional regulation is a term that refers to our ability to navigate through our emotions while still having some say in how we handle and react to them. Developing these skills is a journey in itself, requiring time and effort. And even when you think you've got a grip on it, there are moments when emotions can still feel overwhelming.

We can be intentional about navigating our full range of emotions so that we can better enjoy our positive emotions and more effectively navigate the difficult ones. In today’s post, I’ll share a few basic strategies that can be helpful for regulating emotions in a self-compassionate way.

Pay attention to the physical signals your body sends when you're in the grip of intense emotions. Maybe your heart picks up the pace, your stomach does somersaults, or there's this jittery, nervous energy buzzing through you. These bodily reactions are like your body's way of sending up emotional distress signals. It's a good idea to tune into these cues early on so that you can take proactive steps to process those emotions and use your self-soothing skills.

Nurture your self-soothing skills. Since everyone has unique preferences, it's crucial to figure out what helps you find calm in the midst of emotional turbulence. Identify the self-soothing skills that resonate with you—whether it's deep-breathing exercises, meditation, a good workout, or pouring your thoughts into a journal. Once you've pinpointed your go-to techniques, make it a habit to practice them. This way, you'll be well-equipped to use them skillfully when navigating emotionally-charged moments.

When difficult emotions arise, use positive self-talk to remind yourself that you have the ability to process and manage intense emotions in healthy ways, even if it doesn’t feel great to experience them. You can use positive self-talk by speaking out loud to yourself, mentally repeating the words in your mind, or writing them out in a journal.

Embrace affirmations as a regular practice, weaving them into your emotional journey—whether you're riding highs, navigating lows, or experiencing periods of indifference. Discover examples of affirmations tailored to each emotional phase below.

Affirmations for Times of Positive Emotions

• I am worthy of feeling joy.
• I am grateful for the people and things in my life that bring me happiness.
• I welcome feelings of joy, peace, and comfort into my life. 

Affirmations for Times of Difficult Emotions

• I have everything I need to make it through hard times. 
• Even the difficult feelings I have can help me to grow.
• I am capable of processing difficult emotions. 

Affirmations for Times of Indifferent Emotions

• It makes sense that I feel confused or uncertain about my emotions at times.
• Having mixed feelings is a natural part of life.
• I can trust myself to navigate these uncertain times. 

    
It’s natural to get overwhelmed at times by the intensity of our emotions, especially along the journey of healing from a past abusive relationship. By learning to effectively process and regulate our emotions, we can tap into their healing power and navigate and reduce emotional distress. Take time to develop tools for emotional regulation that work well for you, and continue to build these tools up over time as you experience new levels of healing.