Retreats as Powerful Healing Opportunities for Survivors

By Christine Murray

Over the past year, I’ve been fortunate to take two dedicated retreats that offered time for reflection, rest, and restoration. While both experiences were unique, they highlighted the profound healing opportunities that can occur when we intentionally create space for retreats in our lives. Though these two retreats took place at formal retreat centers, I also believe that we can create personal retreat experiences, even from the comfort of our own homes.  

The Cambridge Dictionary defines a retreat as “a period of time used to pray and study quietly, or to think carefully, away from normal activities and duties.” This definition resonates with me because it reflects the intentionality that makes a retreat so powerful, whether it's in a formal setting or something you create for yourself at home.

In this blog post, I’ll share a bit about my two recent personal retreat experiences, along with reflections on the potential benefits of retreats for survivors of abusive relationships. I’ll also offer some ideas for creating your own retreat—whether through an organized experience or simply dedicating time and space at home.

My Retreat Experiences

My first retreat was a personal, individual stay at a retreat center that was gifted to me during my recent career transitions. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I was navigating the stress and busyness of my job changes on top of my normal day-to-day responsibilities, and this retreat allowed me to hit pause and reset. I was nervous about going alone to a spiritual retreat center, but I quickly realized how much I needed the time away.

During that first retreat, I mapped out a personal plan for activities like journaling, creating a vision board, and reading. I balanced these reflective exercises with moments of rest, naps, and walks in nature. The retreat center provided options for both community and solitude, offering separate spaces for silence or connection. During my stay at the retreat center, I followed my intuition about what I needed most at any given moment, which helped me to find rest and clarity in the quiet moments.

My second retreat was a more structured, group- and faith-based experience. This women's retreat offered the opportunity to reflect deeply on my life and overall healing journey. While this retreat was not specifically designed for survivors, the sense of community and support provided a safe space to explore my personal trauma history and gain new insights into my healing process.

In the past, I’ve also created more informal retreat-like experiences for myself at home. This often involved setting aside a dedicated time (e.g., an afternoon, a whole day, or a weekend) and focusing on self-reflection, rest, and specific intentional activities for healing, such as journaling. Being at home meant that distractions were more likely to come up, but I did get a lot of benefits from setting aside those times as personal retreats to help me practice self-care and focus on healing. 

The Power of Retreats for Survivors

Whether you attend a formal retreat or create your own experience, retreats can be a powerful tool in the healing process for survivors of abuse. Here are a few potential benefits:

1. Dedicated Time for Personal Growth. In our busy day-to-day lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the demands of work, family, and other responsibilities. Setting aside intentional time for yourself allows you to reflect on your healing journey without distractions. While it can be uncomfortable to sit with difficult thoughts and emotions, this quiet time can lead to valuable insights and emotional breakthroughs. Of course, it’s always important to care for our emotional safety as we navigate complex feelings.
2. Opportunities for Connection. Retreats can offer opportunities to connect with others, whether they are fellow survivors or simply other individuals seeking personal growth. Building a sense of community and support can be incredibly healing, especially if you’ve felt isolated in your past. However, if you prefer solitude, personal retreats can be just as valuable, and these can offer opportunities for connection with yourself. 
3. Intentional Healing Activities. Some retreats provide structured exercises that guide you through the healing process, helping you explore different aspects of your recovery in a deeper, more intentional way. These activities can encourage growth and provide new perspectives on your past trauma and healing.
4. Rest and Restoration. Rest is a critical part of the healing process, especially for survivors who may feel tempted to stay busy to avoid difficult emotions. Taking time for reflection, self-care, and even naps can help restore your energy and allow you to move forward in your healing with more strength and resilience.

Creating Your Own Retreat Experience

If the idea of a retreat appeals to you, consider creating your own retreat space, whether through a formal or personally planned retreat. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Research and Plan. If you're interested in attending a formal retreat, you can research available options online or ask for recommendations from professionals or fellow survivors. Be sure to investigate the credentials of the staff and host organization, the safety measures in place, and the overall structure of the retreat to ensure it is a good fit for your needs.
2. Create Your Own Retreat at Home. You don’t need to leave your home to experience the benefits of a retreat. Set aside a day or even just a few hours to focus on reflection and relaxation. You can use guided journals, mindfulness exercises, or simply create a quiet space for thinking and processing emotions.
3. Personalize Your Retreat. Whether attending a formal retreat or creating your own, it’s important to tailor the experience to your needs. Include activities that help you heal, whether it’s journaling, walking in nature, or practicing yoga. Balance reflective exercises with rest, and allow yourself the flexibility to adjust based on how you’re feeling in the moment.
4. Ease the transition into and out of your retreat. Entering into a retreat can sometimes feel like a shift in gears, particularly if you’re in the midst of a busy or overwhelming time in life. Give yourself time to mentally and emotionally prepare for the retreat ahead of time, even if it’s just a few moments to breathe deeply and set an intention for the experience. This could be something as simple as a short meditation or journaling exercise to mark the beginning of your retreat time. Similarly, allow yourself to gently transition back into your regular routine when your retreat is over. Avoid the temptation to jump right back into a hectic schedule. Give yourself a buffer period to reflect on your experience and ease back into daily responsibilities with mindfulness and care. Incorporating a small ritual, like a gratitude practice or setting one simple goal for the day, can help you carry the sense of calm and focus you felt during the retreat into the rest of your life.

Conclusion

Whether you attend a formal retreat or create your own personal retreat space at home, the act of stepping away from daily routines to focus on your healing can be incredibly powerful. As survivors, it's important to give ourselves permission to rest, reflect, and heal at our own pace. Remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to retreats, and what matters most is that it feels right for you.

If the idea of a retreat resonates with you, I invite you to explore what this might look like in your own life—whether it's a weekend away at a retreat center, a day set aside in your home, or even brief moments of quiet reflection built into your daily routine. Each experience can offer meaningful insights and opportunities for growth, helping you continue on your healing journey.