Reminders for the Healing Journey

By Christine Murray

Abusive relationships are difficult to experience, and they can impact you in many ways, including your physical, emotional, and mental health, your career or educational performance, your sense of self-worth, and how you approach other relationships. Coping with an abusive relationship can be very challenging, as can the process of recovering from the effects of an abusive relationship even after it has ended. In today’s post, I want to share a few important reminders for survivors who are at any point along the sometimes long, difficult healing journey following an abusive relationship.

Throughout your healing journey, prioritize your safety and consider seeking help from a trained professional (e.g., a mental health professional or a victim advocate). Remember that this includes your physical safety, as well as your emotional safety and overall well-being in all areas of your life, including your finances, relationships, and career.

Be intentional and consistent in caring for yourself when coping with or recovering from an abusive relationship. This includes caring for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Be mindful of any effects that the stress and turmoil of the abusive relationship have had on your well-being. Overcoming these negative effects of this harmful relationship can take time and require an intentional approach to healing. The healing journey takes a different amount of time for everyone, so be patient and remember to move forward at a pace that feels comfortable and meaningful to you.

Even if you have had many abusive relationship experiences, know that you have the capacity to build healthy relationships with healthy, flexible boundaries in different areas of your life. If you are still navigating any ongoing experiences of abuse (such as post-separation abuse if there is shared custody with your abuser), be proactive and intentional as you make decisions about which directions you need to take in those situations, both in the short-term and over the long term. If you find yourself in the midst of an abusive relationship that you know needs to end, but you can’t do so right away for practical or other reasons, begin taking steps that will move you closer to being in a position to remove yourself from that relationship or environment when the time is right. Resources like a local domestic violence agency or the National Domestic Violence Hotline can be invaluable sources of support. 

Congratulations on being intentional about your healing journey, whether your journey is just beginning or you’ve been in the process for a long time. By doing so, you have prioritized your well-being and taken powerful steps toward healing. Remember to continue to prioritize your growth and self-care as you move forward. This may look like completing self-help activities or books, or seeking professional support. Know that any steps you take toward increasing your capacity for coping with or recovering from the abusive relationship experiences you faced are powerful growth opportunities. 

And finally, always remember that you are worthy of a positive, fulfilling life in which you’re surrounded by people who genuinely care about and support you. There is nothing in your past that disqualifies you from that positive vision for your future.