Pursuing New Career or Educational Goals as a Survivor of Abuse

By Christine Murray
 
This blog post is adapted from Chapter 9 of our book, Financial Abuse Recovery: Financial Healing and Empowerment after Surviving an Abusive Relationship. To learn more about the book and access related resources, please visit The Source for Survivors Financial Abuse Recovery Book Resources webpage.

Healing after an abusive relationship is a personal journey that can unfold in many different ways. For many survivors, an important part of the healing journey includes rediscovering or re-imagining their professional and educational goals. Whether it means going back to school, starting a new job, changing careers, or simply reflecting on what kind of work brings meaning and stability, this process can be empowering and healing.

If you’re in the early stages of abuse recovery, thinking about big career or education decisions may feel overwhelming. You may be dealing with financial pressures, lingering trauma, self-doubt, or the ongoing impacts of the abuse you experienced (such as being discouraged or blocked from working or studying during the relationship). Remember that it’s never too late to invest in yourself and take intentional steps toward building a future that reflects your goals, values, and dreams.

In abusive relationships, it’s common for survivors to feel like their needs, goals, and well-being were consistently devalued. A big part of healing for many survivors involves learning to reclaim your worth, and one powerful way to do this can include making intentional investments in yourself. This might include self-care, counseling, rest, and seeking new opportunities related to work and learning.

Everyone’s career and educational paths are different. You may be working in a job you love, seeking something new, feeling unsure of your next steps, or currently not in the workforce at all. Wherever you are right now, keep in mind that the goal is not to follow someone else’s blueprint. It’s important to explore what feels meaningful and supportive for you. That could mean completing a degree, returning to school, launching a business, exploring volunteer work, or finding peace in staying where you are. There’s no one right way to move forward, so take time to consider what steps feel right to you at this point in time.

Survivors may face unique challenges in their educational or professional lives, some of which may be the direct result of abuse. Perhaps you were kept from working or studying. Maybe you were constantly criticized or told you weren’t capable. The lingering effects of this kind of mistreatment can impact your confidence and decision-making long after the relationship ends.

At the same time, setting and working toward educational or career goals can be a powerful part of healing. Taking steps toward your goals can build confidence, foster a sense of purpose, and contribute to financial independence. You may even discover a deeper sense of identity or reconnect with dreams you’d put on hold.

Practical Considerations and Strategies
If you're exploring educational or career goals after abuse, here are a few practical strategies and considerations to keep in mind:

• Reflect on What Matters to You: Take time to explore what education and work mean to you. What kind of environment helps you thrive? What values do you want your work or learning experiences to reflect? What kinds of goals would feel fulfilling to you?
• Be Willing to Start Small: Healing and growth take time. It’s okay to start with small steps. That might mean researching programs, enrolling in one class, updating your résumé, or talking to a trusted advisor. Small steps count, and they often lead to bigger ones.
• Explore Different Pathways: Education does not only mean going back to college, and career success doesn’t only mean climbing the corporate ladder. Think broadly: certificate programs, online classes, peer support roles, volunteering, creative projects, mentorship, or community involvement. What options are most exciting to you?
• Know It’s Okay to Go at Your Own Pace: There’s no deadline for healing or building your future. Whether you’re 22 or 62, you can pursue new goals and opportunities. You don’t have to rush or compare your journey to anyone else’s. This is your path, and you get to set the pace.
• Seek Out Support: You don’t have to do it alone. Career counselors, academic advisors, mentors, support groups, and therapists can all be part of your support network. Look for supporters who understand the dynamics of abuse and can offer encouragement without pressure or judgment.
• Be Prepared for Setbacks, but Keep Going: It’s normal to hit roadblocks, especially if you’re juggling healing, finances, or other life responsibilities. Setbacks don’t mean failure, and they can be part of the healing process. Practice self-compassion, learn what you can, and keep going when you’re ready.
• Celebrate Your Progress: Whether you complete a degree, update your resume, attend a job fair, or make a new connection, celebrate it. Every step forward matters. Acknowledge your wins, big or small, and honor how far you’ve come.

Conclusion

Whether you’re dreaming of a new career, thinking about returning to school, or just beginning to explore what’s next, remember that you are worthy of growth. You are capable of learning new things, and you can pursue opportunities that align with your goals and your healing journey.

Pursuing career or educational goals after an abusive relationship isn’t always easy, but it can be a powerful part of the healing journey. These steps, however small they may feel at first, are part of reclaiming your future and honoring your worth. Whether you're focused on resting and recovering, mapping out big dreams for your future, or somewhere in between, remember that you deserve a future that feels empowering, meaningful, and free.