Emotional Resets After Challenging Situations

By Christine Murray

A couple of weeks back in the Pathway for Survivors Blog, I wrote a post called, “Preparing in Advance if You’re Anticipating Seeing or Interacting With Your Former Abuser.” In that post, I shared some ways survivors can mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially prepare for times when they can’t avoid interacting with their abusers. 

Facing an interaction with your abuser is just one of many potentially emotionally challenging situations that survivors may encounter along their healing journeys. A few other examples might include facing a court date, moments of loneliness and isolation, stressful parenting situations, financial difficulties, and life changes like moving or starting a new job. 

In addition to general emotional regulation strategies that are helpful to build along the healing journey, it also can be valuable to develop our own quick “reset buttons” or quick tools you can use to process your reactions to them immediately following the interaction. 

These "emotional reset buttons" are essentially tools that allow you to process your immediate reactions to a difficult interaction or experience, so you can re-center yourself and move forward with your day. While these resets aren’t designed to fully address or heal the emotions tied to the event—that deeper work often requires time and reflection—they can be a powerful way to help you recover in the moment. A reset can prevent an emotionally challenging experience from overshadowing the rest of your day.

So, what might these emotional resets look like? Here are a few examples:

1. Journaling your thoughts: After a challenging situation, writing a quick journal entry can help you organize your thoughts and feelings. Even a few sentences about what happened and how you felt can give you a clearer sense of your emotional state. This practice can also serve as a valuable record for later reflection.
2. Mindfulness meditation: Setting aside 5-10 minutes for mindfulness meditation can help you tune into how your mind, emotions, and body are reacting to the situation. Focusing on your breath, scanning your body for tension, or practicing present-moment awareness can provide an immediate sense of calm.
3. Reaching out to a trusted friend: Sometimes, sharing what happened with someone who understands can offer relief. A brief call or text to a supportive friend can validate your feelings and provide a comforting sense of connection, helping you process what you’re experiencing.
4. Progressive muscle relaxation: Engaging in a simple progressive muscle relaxation exercise allows you to release tension that may have built up in your body during a stressful event. Start at your head or your feet and gradually tense and relax each muscle group, inviting a sense of calm and control over your physical state.
5. Positive affirmations: Reframing your internal dialogue with positive, empowering thoughts can shift your emotional energy. Reminding yourself, “I am worthy of being treated with respect” or “I won’t let this person’s actions define my day” can bring comfort and strengthen your resilience.

Whether it’s an interaction with a former abuser, a tough conversation with another negative person in your life, or any other emotionally challenging situation, developing these reset tools can be a crucial part of your healing journey. They serve as immediate, actionable ways to re-center yourself and regain a sense of control after being emotionally impacted by an event.

While these resets may not address all the deeper emotions tied to the situation, they do help create space for peace and clarity. Later, you can return to more in-depth processing if needed. In the meantime, these small actions can help protect your emotional well-being in the moment, allowing you to move forward with your day rather than being derailed by painful or triggering experiences.

Ultimately, healing is a complex, non-linear journey. By incorporating emotional resets into your toolkit, you give yourself the gift of compassion and self-care, allowing you to navigate emotionally intense challenges with greater ease.